Fall is my favorite time of year. Fall is a time that I find inspiration. Much of nature, on it's last limbs, going out with a bang, saving the best part for last. Fall is a time where transition is all around you, and is a beautiful sight to behold. And there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather experience fall than in Mont Vernon, New Hampshire.
It was a very sad day when my Aunt Maria, Uncle Eric, and cousins Olivia, Tony and Annemarie had to move away. Both families were so much apart of each other, living five minutes away for a majority of my life, it seemed we'd almost taken it for granted. I often think about them, and hardly talk to them like we used to. But I always miss them the most when the smell of Fall hits the air.
When we do go and visit, it's just like old times. You'd think things would be different, with the kids growing up and changing, but they're basically the same. All the same jokes, same punch lines, same nicknames... including the beloved "Chicken". It started many years ago, when I was a kid. My step dad Mark does a miraculous impression of a chicken and chases you around, and you can't help but squeal with delight. The tradition lives on, but my cousins, who are much younger than me, are now the torch bearers. But everyone in the family still refers to Mark as Chicken.
It was actually at my Aunt and Uncle's beloved "Green House" where my parents said their "I-do's". He wasn't deemed chicken just yet, but it was the day that he officially became my dad. Not a replacement, by any means, but he's been there for me when I needed him, which has been alot since I moved out. I never knew how much my parents meant to me until I didn't have them instructing, lecturing, and doing lots of other stuff that I was completely oblivious of. Now that I'm really really on my own, not going to school, trying to make a name for myself, a good evening spent at home with the rents can often be just what I needed. When Mark married my mom, he married all of us, and I've certainly kept his hands full of things to do, fix, clean-up, take care of.... take your pick. And the sad part is how much I took advantage of him, without even knowing it. I'm starting to realize how much he sacrifices for me every day, and at the time when I need him most, I feel a little bit undeserving. I know he loves me, and I know he is happy to help me out whenever I need it.
How can this sort of debt be repaid?
And what would a Chicken be without his Mrs. Chicken? What would I be without her?
Freedom is a beautiful thing, but it's also really hard sometimes not having someone there all the time to help. I don't know if I could handle it without my mom giving me her love, her pep talks, her occasional check up phone calls. Not to mention her home-cooked meals... How lucky am I to have two great parents like these? They love and support and give unconditionally.
Isn't there a way to give something back?
Fall time in New Hampshire not only beckons me, but my whole family. These parents of mine, would love nothing more than to up and move to New Hampshire. It's where they belong, and it's been calling their names for a long, long time. But they haven't moved there because of me... I tell them all the time that I'll be fine out here, but we all know that I'd be fine, until I'm not. I'd love to move away from here, and live close to my parents where I know they'd be happy, building their dream house near the ocean. Mark could sail on his boat that hasn't been used since my parents got married... If I could give them one gift, it would be their dream life in New Hampshire by the sea. I can drop almost everything, almost. I can say goodbye to the friends I hardly see or talk to, the places, the job, but I can't say goodbye to my best friend. To the one I love the most. My parents can't leave me, and I can't leave him. So the one way to repay them, for all they do, isn't happening today. All I can do for now is be thankful, and hope that someday, at least part of this wish can come true.
